i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
