I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
