He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
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she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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