i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
