Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
