I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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