soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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