I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
