I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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