Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
