Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
