with your own penis?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
