Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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