The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
