I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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