Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
