she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
