Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize