I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We are two peas in an std pod
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
