Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
