Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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