apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
