out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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