something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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