you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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