How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
