So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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