3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
