I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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