If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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