he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
