and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
