Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
