Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
