every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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