The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Vodka?
Forever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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