I cannot find my penis.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
