She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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