We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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