Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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