come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
