If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
