Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
