i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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