Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
