You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
