wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Found the puke drawer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
