**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
