you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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