we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
