Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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