worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
