She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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