and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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