We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house