We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.