ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.