Having a random hookup so left but love u
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.