I am in a vortex of obligation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
