Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
