Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
