So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
