Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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