Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
