He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
