I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
